Countdown

One more day. One more day until I met my counterpart in Japan for a two-week escapade of cultural immersion, language interpretations, and Hello Kitty.

Somehow, I feel calm about the trip. Other people are more excited than I am sometimes--"Take me with you!", "Buy me some shoes", "The Land of Hello Kitty"--that I'm almost compelled to deviate from their happiness by feeling calm and tranquil.

Money, money, money is making my life a bit stressful, and overall, takes away from the full excitement of this trip. I don't think people realize this, but going to a different country costs $$. Not one $. Not two $$. Excessive $. I only add this in because it is something for those going abroad to think about. It costs money. But if you really want to do it, money shouldn't stand in your way.

You know, there was no way I was going to go to Japan unless it was study abroad, and that takes forever to go through at my school. I'm glad this opportunity presented itself to me, amidst the chaos of campaigning and student organizations and other activities known as my life.

I spent most of yesterday revising the presentation. It's pretty straight-cut, like homestyle french fries, but it's classic and simple. It's just about packing now--where the hell are my panties? I could had sworn I had at least 20 of them--and picking out what shirts to wear, what pants to bring, what dress might work. It's all about guessing and logical thinking (that negates itself, really).

Today, after church, I picked up the T-shirts. They looked good, better than the first design I did because they couldn't use it. Now, I just have to figure out how I'm going to wrap it and all that good jazz. Apparently, when giving gifts in Japan, Japanese people really love gifts, well, gift-wrapped, no matter how small the item is. I have to do that today.

Plus, my mom is buying me a digital camera today! Hooray! We're upgrading from our broken, $50 Radio Shack dealt, digital Casio camera. I wanted a Digital SLR, but lo and behold, they are mighty expensive, and I don't have time to bid on Ebay and wait for snail mail to deliver the goods.

I just need some more time to steady myself because the preparations are toying with my mind. Don't get me wrong. It's there though, the excitement, buried underneath the hustle and bustle of preparations.

Now, if you excuse me, I have to clean my room (because no one else will) and find more of my missing panties.

Electrical Plugs and Family

One of my electrical sockets looked like it had a black eye. Several months before, I had placed a DC output plug into the unsuspecting socket and returned to find the innocent electrical outlet with its left prong hole browned from burning.

Luckily, like a good American, I covered the ugly scar with a cheap makeover. Thank Home Depot for supplying people who charred electrical sockets.

Looking at what I have now, my trip to Japan is proving to be very pricey, even with only paying for half of a thousand dollar flight and spending money for the time in Japan.

Just preparing my room is taking its toll on my financial status. I've lived with my mother and younger brother since I came to California, and we've always met the short end of the monetary stick. My father skimped on the child support and my mother had to start from scratch in careers. I don't even remember how my mom managed to bring us up one rough year that only made $10,000 in one year, and feed all of us and keep a roof above our heads. The situation isn't the same, but this recession has hit us hard. I don't factor in food whenever I budget. It's not like I've never starved before. I'll make it somehow.

So, this trip has to be my focus point and I have to throw everything into it because then, the money wouldn't matter. It's funny how people say, money doesn't matter, but we really can't find much happiness if money is the only thing to get us what we need. I don't honestly believe that happiness stems from dollars, but still, as capitalistic as this country it is, it's only natural to strive to get as much as possible.

Although, I wouldn't use it as a way to say, "Hey, I'm more successful than you because I have more zeros behind a number."

I guess the most fun I have is with my family, especially my brothers. My older brother always embellishes his stories that are outrageous and funny. My younger brother's humor is more subtle but it's still roll-on-the-floor funny.

I wonder if I'll get to enjoy that sense of family with my Japanese host family. I'm paired with the oldest Japanese student, who is 20, and she has a younger brother. I don't know if she'll like any of my gifts, but hopefully, everything works out.

Reading

I'm always on the run, always moving, once I get a momentum. Go to work. Call the store. Meet the clerks. Get a quote. Worry about money. Think about mileage. Call someone else. Raise my voice at a customer service assistant unintentionally. Compose myself. Work through some money issues. Worry about money.

And then, once I get a chance to take a break and become bored, I'm already being rushed off somewhere else.

Everyone asks me how I do it all. I really don't know. I just know I have to be busy to get things done. I don't tend to think, "How am I going to get it done?" I normally think, "How much can I get done?" Somehow, God blesses me with the ability to complete tasks as best I can and as efficiently as I do.

But I admire the moments when I force myself to step outside of the computer, the TV, technology in general, and move, dance, peel myself away from things that are just so trivial when you really think about it. That's what makes me feel like I'm alive, and alive for reasons of my own. It's my chance to be selfish.

This trip, this adventure into the unknown called Japan, is my selfish trip out of America into somewhere that's, well, I don't know. It's just another place. I can travel their by books, like Shizuka's Daughter, but I can't set my feet down on the earth in that land.

Between the calls, money issues, studying Japanese, and bouts of boredom and business, today, I read a chapter from Three Cups of Tea. It's a book that I have wanted to read since someone from KPBS told me about it. They gave it to me for free for a short commercial, and now, I'm hooked. I read one chapter today. I took myself out of the Japanese, the dollar-signs, and the multiples of problems upon problems to read it. I turned off the TV, the computer, and sat on the stoop that served as a miniature porch and read. It calmed nerves that I didn't notice were tense from the rampant blows of my life.

Finally, when the chapter ended, I went inside and returned to reality. It seems rather comical at how I switch modes completely.

Yesterday, I was ready for the Union Tribune, the photo shoot for the paper, and the multiple questions and listening ears of the City Commissioners. I was nervous beyond reasoning, just to give one presentation, as usual, and once it was over, it was almost as though a weight had been lifted.

I dread presentations. I used to have an anxiety disorder, and finally, after high school, I broke through it. My speech is always too fast, in spite of my mind telling my body to calm down. I tend to move my hands to calm nerves, and it helps, but I still feel my heart beat in my ears and the heat in my body become intolerable. I only believe that I am a good speaker and move on with that. If I get stoned for bad speaking skills, then so be it, I tried.

I think that the presentation was childish, in my opinion. We selected pictures from the photos all of us took and made a DVD slide show out of it. We spoke over the pictures, but because we didn't bother practicing with the slide show, of course, the slide show was off from our adlib. We talked about 5 categories: food, culture, shopping, recreation, and education in the City. Why was I the only one who didn't read off of anything? I felt that the essays everyone else wrote--minus one of the two males of the delegation--were too long winded and too fancy. Well, that's what you expect when it's 3 recent high school graduates versus a college senior. I took a backseat to leading the presentation off, but now, I'm going to have to take some more leadership on this.

I do consider myself a leader, not because I know how to lead, because I really doubt that ability, but I know how to follow. I would hope to believe that I am a servant leader, and I am adamant in teaching others to believe in themselves. I mean, it's the only way you'll really figure yourself out, once you realize that you need to love yourself before you can love/lead others.

Of course, these are just my opinions. I only wish to enjoy the life God has given to me. I hope that everything will turn out all right.

Marketing and Promotions

I didn't really think of going to Japan was a big deal. But then again, if things weren't a big deal, I wouldn't have my phone dying as people from the Union Tribune call and email me. The funniest thing is that we're not even done with our presentation and we give it today.

I'm not really surprised. After all, besides me, everyone else is a recent high school graduate. I can be a procrastinating college student, while the other three could be procrastinating high school grads. Still, it's no excuse for us to not be done today, and that's something I believe more time would have taken cared of.

I bought T-shirts yesterday from American Apparel and Pink Zone so that we can get them printed with the design I created. I'm happy to make shirts. I want to start my own T-shirt business this year, hopefully, and this is a great start. I've done T-shirts for other events too, but they were just on campus. Now, I want to branch out a little bit more...

Well, seeing that I have to go to work before meeting up with the other City ambassadors, I'm off. Short and sweet, ne?

Presentations, Presentations, Presentations

A little over 3 weeks left, and I'm going crazy with excitement! Everyone keeps coming up to me and saying, "You're excited to go to Japan, huh?"

What an understatement!

This one Tokyopop representative at the American Library Association Convention had the tenacity to say, "Going to Japan is a lot better than Comic-Con."

Please, don't insult me. It's way better! Like 20 times better! But I love my Comic-Con. I'm considering sending someone to Comic-Con for me just so I can say that I sent someone in my place. This will be the first time in 7 years that I will be missing out on Comic-Con International. 7 years!!

With Japan right around the corner, I'm getting more and more anxious. I still haven't paid for everything, and I'm worried that I won't be able to because of my low, low, low financial status. It's only $575, but still, that's a lot to me. I'm hoping that the stimulus check will help cover the costs, but I still haven't gotten it yet!

I hope that my next paycheck will take care of everything, and I'll be ok. Besides the money part, I'm preparing for the presentation to the City council out there. I'm the "Food Commissioner" so I talk about what types of food is in the city that I live in.

Johnny Carino's, check. Daphne's Greek Cafe, check. A million taco shops, check.

It's pretty easy to put a presentation together. All you have to do is look up the restaurant on the website, snap a couple of pictures for a Powerpoint presentation, and ta-da! You have a presentation! Only requires about one-tenth of your brain cells, if you do it just right.

I'm using the rest of my brain cells to decipher how to speak Japanese or Nihongo.

My brother bought me an audio series on learning to speak Japanese just for when I drive around the City the many aimless hours that I do. Surprisingly, it's hard, because they go "slowly" but it's not slow enough! It's easy like Karuma desu--"It is a car"--to Oki karuma desu, and I forget what it means, but I can say it! Japanese is harder than I remember it being...

Sadness...

I'm getting there, slowly and surely, and I believe that things will work out...

Is anyone up for attending Comic-Con in San Diego for me? (Message me if you are!)